Yesterday I took some pizzas to that sweet tiny older woman I mentioned in one of my Lemon videos. The one who calls me sugar, baby and honey and I love it. Because every time she answers the door, she looks so fucking happy that I even exist. There’s this look in her eyes. I KNOW her. She handed me the money and I started to walk away but I turned back around and said, “I just have to tell you how special you are. I just love coming here and seeing you. You’re just so kind and I know we don’t know each other at all, but I just feel a connection with you.”
She grabbed my hand, then reached up to my giant self and pulled me down to a hug. I told her maybe we knew each other in a past life. She grabbed my hand again and said, “I believe in that!!”
I didn’t tell her but I see one of her selves in a small cottage in a wood and I am there with her making magic. I can always feel the fae blood in people and it is pouring out of her. Especially her eyes.
I told her I wasn’t going to be delivering pizzas much longer and I had to tell her all these things. She invited me in and exchanged numbers. She told me she paints also and loves coffee too so we have plans to hang out when I’m done with my last couple weeks.
Everything for me is such an experience. It’s just how I exist. This was not just a job for me. I felt myself weaving light everywhere I go for the last three years. Not everything has been easy. I overcame a lot of fear around other people. I popped out of the matrix a lot. I am so grateful for the way I’ve grown, and became more of myself. I healed. I was supported and loved. And when I confessed my feelings to Mary on south Ash street, I felt that old spark come back that I had before the damage. The one that is lucky. In the right place at the right time. I felt the future open up again. And desire to live and love rush in. It was the confirmation I needed that I leapt off the right cliff as The Fool, bright as the sun.