There’s a new sheriff in town.
Effective immediately some things are going to change around these parts.
1. If you order delivery, you do not leave your house. Stop wasting people’s time.
2. No pick up trucks unless you actually use them properly. No more vanity trucks posing as BDE.
3. You get to be who you are. Mean People on the internet or otherwise are just people with issues. Not a barometer for any kind of authority for you. Or how you should be or think.
4. 80s music will be played on the tornado siren speakers for one hour everyday and there will be required street dancing if you’re able.
5. Lawn mowing is not required or encouraged unless desired. Wildflower seeds and other ground cover will be handed out at the coop. Get to werk.
6. Door knockers will meet an untimely demise courtesy of the town witch.
7. The age of the good ol boys is over. All heart led beings and neurodivergent brains may now take their place in leadership. We have stim toys, wifi and weighted blankets.
8. Sardines on pizza is cancelled.
9. All creatives and progressive thinkers will be granted a year sabbatical to dream a new way of living.
10. Orb spiders will be released en masse to eradicate the mosquito population.
11. To be continued …
::Cue tumbleweed music::
Soundtrack: The Humpty Dance, Digital Underground