We all have relationship patterns that show up throughout our lives. Can you see them? And I mean any and all relationships and connections. You get to a point in your life where you realize things aren’t working and doing the necessary work to begin to see. And we have to take accountability for the energy we are putting into these dynamics if we ever want things to change. We deserve nourishing connections.
For me, I’m becoming unavailable. My pattern is being so desperate for connection that I become available to people who do not choose me back. Not in the ways that I need. I become something convenient, my kindness leaned heavily upon to understand why I am not chosen over the many other options they have in their life. The way I love is to be real, honest, making time for those I love. And yet, due to my own belief that I need to take whatever I can get, whatever comes along, I have tolerated so much that has hurt my heart. And then tried to talk myself out of my hurt in the name of understanding. I do understand. We are all on our own paths. Life happens. We grow apart. I can love people AND love myself. And I am now unavailable for any close connection in which I do not experience the following:
Repair if needed
Reciprocity (this is a big one)
Respect of boundaries
I could expand so much on each of these. But for now, I’ll just leave them here. Maybe I’ll expand on each one in future posts. There might be more.
I guess I’m just putting this here as a marker in time. And because I believe it’s a huge theme in the collective. As a way to tell the universe I am serious about this. Because these are big things for me and many others I’ve spoken with. My inner circle is very small and I like it like that. I just don’t have the energy to be a snack anymore. And I deserve the love I give.