The Loss

(written 2016)

Do you hear the drums?
The heartbeat of the collective right now?
The rhythm has changed.
Have you woken each morning and suddenly three hours have passed?
Have you been awake during the night, sensing the pulse of a freight train running along your bones?

I have too.

And in there is stillness.
Somehow there is a pause while the locomotion gains momentum.
If you are very still, you can feel this is true.
The energy flowing like a river inside you.

Loss is all around us right now.
A miscarriage of all you clung to.
Safety nets burned up.
Tornadoes ripping through the landscape,
taking our sleep away,
taking our sense of control.

Ah, but did we ever have it?
There is an unveiling taking place right now.
The wizard has come out from behind the curtain
to say, “I’m not who you thought I was.
I am who you think you are.”

Suddenly, masks are falling off people we trusted.
Comfort cannot be found anywhere.
Money, people, hopes, plans, dreams.
But now, we see the truth.
We see the illusion of what we thought.
And loss can do that.

We are like a plastic bag pushed up against a fence.
Feeling secure in that barrier that holds us.
And then the winds pick up and we are lifted
up and over the fence,
to another place entirely.

And just like that, the loss becomes a catalyst.
Just like that, you’ve been activated.
It’s not like before, where you grieve for a year,
wearing black and watering the earth with your tears.
No, when you land, you will feel the grief, yes.
But you will also feel the surge of purpose.
A holy space.

All those things you wondered?
About who you are, about what you can do, about the bigger picture?
Yes, that feeling.
Do you give yourself permission to crawl out of the illusion
and see the painting in broader strokes?

That it’s about you, but also not about just you?
You are part of an awakening.
Before you came to this place of flesh and bone,
you promised yourself to open fully this time.

So don’t fear the loss right now.
The loss is the love you agreed to experience
to make space for your enormous gifts to come through.

The field is being burned so you can grow a god damn forest of giants.

Do you feel that space in your belly?
That bone in your back growing as we speak?
The enormity of the current of loss is directly proportional to the space
your magic needs to be born.

Feel everything. Honor the process.
But never forget who you are
and why you came here this time.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Sara

    God I love this 💛

  2. Wendy

    I have felt for decades now that I am in the final push of my lessons, that this was the crucible I would need to get it right. It’s a heavy weight and sometimes strange to think that I chose it, but I did, probably willingly and joyfully. I try to keep that in mind as I breathe and open and let go. It’s only a lifetime, a small piece of our eternity.

  3. Julie Your Montinieri

    Prophetic. Can I share it?

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