We had a talk with Chaz the other day and we were in agreement that progress has been made and he expressed interest in moving back in with the family, under some strict conditions of course…All focused on his sobriety and mental health healing. Honestly, I was feeling it before he asked. The transparent truth is that when the shit hit the fan with him several years ago, I disconnected from the other kids subconsciously as as way to protect myself maybe. There’s just something about your first born I think and already carrying around so much fatigue and trauma from thirty years.
As we all sat around a fire the other night, it might’ve been the first time all four kids were there with Rebecca and I. We told them the news, allowed them each to ruminate on the past and the progress and how they felt regarding Chaz rejoining us. It was an extremely healing talk and one that has never happened at the level that it did. They were all feeling very positive. And deeply healing. They spoke to each other and have been helping around here and building relationships with each other.
The future is still unknown with so many things but for now we might be able to move forward as a cohesive family unit for the first time. I am grateful.
Also, today we are all grateful to a kind and generous soul who helped us get our AC and water heater repaired. I was getting sick from the heat and the help allowed us to take care of our house payment. Zoe has gotten a job so she and jack are working and jack is working toward his driver’s license. Mental health is a priority and therapy when needed for those with insurance. Many thanks for all the help and support.
Real life talk.
photos by Zoe, hence her absence in them. Also not featuring Jack, who wasn’t with us at the lake outing.
I just also want to take a moment to thank all the sweet souls who’ve been supporting my work, month after month. I don’t have a large community, but I have a loyal one. I struggle with owning my worth a lot and hope that what I provide is equal to the dollars you have gifted us in exchange. Maybe someday, this paradigm will shift and the magical will not feel so small compared to the current systems of work in place. Your support is giving us a home to live in, food to eat, cars to drive, all the basic needs and most importantly, hope that there is a place for my gifts in this world. I pray every day that I am on my path and doing the right thing by bringing the old ways back into existence. May you all be blessed greatly!
you can find my growing offerings here.