peel away the bark

peel away the bark

Lost in skies of powdered gold
Caught in clouds of silver ropes
Showered by the empty hopes
As I tumble down
Falling fast to the ground
I know I’ll wither
So peel away the bark
Because nothing
Grows when it is dark
In spite of all my fears
I can see it all so clear
I see it all so clear
Cover your crystal eyes
And feel the tones that tremble down your spine
Cover your crystal eyes
And let your colours bleed and blend with mine
Making waves in pitch black sand
Feel the salt dance on my hands
Raw and charcoal coloured thighs
Feel so cold and my skin
Feels so paper-thin
I know I’ll wither
So peel away the bark
Because nothing
Grows when it is dark
In spite of all my fears
I can see it all so clear
I see it all so clear
Cover your crystal eyes
And feel the tones that tremble down your spine
Cover your crystal eyes
And let your colours bleed and blend with mine
But I’m ok
In see-through skin
I forgive what is within
Because I’m in this house
I’m in this home
All my time
Cover your crystal eyes
And feel the tones that tremble down your spine
Cover your crystal eyes
And let your colours bleed and blend with mine

 

raw-310

I cannot find a good place to host my more mature self portraiture. I could do it here but for now, Flickr will have to work with all their moderation settings (you have to be signed into Flickr to see anything mature). Another option is 500px, which allows you to see if you say you want to, even without an account. I’m still feeling very googly about posting them anywhere, although that has eased up. When I hear the voices designed to make me panic and feel unsafe about it, I question them, “But why is my body not ok? It’s a body. Everyone has one. The voice will say, “but we were sexual in some of them.” and i say, “but why is that not ok? sexuality is healthy and we are an artist. we want to document that. it is our right.” And then the voice sees reason for awhile until the next time I wake up at 3 am in a panic that I am expressing myself freely and fully for anyone to see. It’s a process. And I realized I needed to write about it here. I say, “fuck it” a lot lately. I try not to over analyze my impulses. Did you know that if you want to create something, anything…overthinking they why will kill it every time. Every fucking time.

So..do you. If it excites you, explore it. Maybe I’ll start exploring it more here. This is supposed to be my safe space. Fuck it.

 

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Plus you can look at it like every person seeing asked to be on your email list. They can always remove themselves and if they do they really aren’t the audience you’re speaking to anyway. Win. Win. Keep doing you!!! Your courage is inspiring:) The pic is beautiful btw…

  2. …now you are inspiring me to do the renaissance thing myself….would love to see more of this, and someday, more of me!

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